[ That last part? Definitely catches Matt off guard. ]
—Wait, seriously? [ He'd thought about it back at the Garrison? Then again, Shiro had responded the way he did to his message, and in hindsight, that should've spoken for itself. But what that could mean only seems to click right now, in the moment, and he wants to kick himself. ]
I feel kinda stupid now. ... Honestly, I really liked you back at the Garrison, and I guess I kind of did want more, but it felt complicated, so convinced myself it could never work. You were a little intimidating? Higher up than me, star of the school, way more interesting people than me had their eye on you... And later on there was also the fact we'd be on a ship together for months with my dad. That definitely wouldn't have been awkward. I... pretty much forgot about it when we got separated. I really thought you were dead, and at that point, there's nothing else you can do, so I just let go. Then I saw you again, and it was like... Not like I was instantly totally into you again or something cliche like that, more like, I feel like I could open that door again. But it's a lot more complicated now, and I don't know that we'd always be able to put each other first. I can deal with that, but...
[ He lets out a small breath. Man, he's talking a lot. That's a lot for, "yes, I'm interested." He could've just said that. But they haven't seen each other in so long that it feels so important to make sure his real feelings get across. ]
I guess... I can do whatever's easiest for you. It's just a matter of how far you're okay with it going, given... Well, everything. I'm alright with whatever you're comfortable with.
[ It's a little strange hearing himself talk like this. Maybe it's a sign of how much he's changed that he can acknowledge things will be complicated, not necessarily ideal, hard to keep up with, and still be able to just deal with it instead of being scared or have it be a deal-breaker. They just can't have perfect—not in a war. So practical has to come first. A year ago that would have meant he wouldn't even bother. Now? He's content to take whatever he can get. ]
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—Wait, seriously? [ He'd thought about it back at the Garrison? Then again, Shiro had responded the way he did to his message, and in hindsight, that should've spoken for itself. But what that could mean only seems to click right now, in the moment, and he wants to kick himself. ]
I feel kinda stupid now. ... Honestly, I really liked you back at the Garrison, and I guess I kind of did want more, but it felt complicated, so convinced myself it could never work. You were a little intimidating? Higher up than me, star of the school, way more interesting people than me had their eye on you... And later on there was also the fact we'd be on a ship together for months with my dad. That definitely wouldn't have been awkward. I... pretty much forgot about it when we got separated. I really thought you were dead, and at that point, there's nothing else you can do, so I just let go. Then I saw you again, and it was like... Not like I was instantly totally into you again or something cliche like that, more like, I feel like I could open that door again. But it's a lot more complicated now, and I don't know that we'd always be able to put each other first. I can deal with that, but...
[ He lets out a small breath. Man, he's talking a lot. That's a lot for, "yes, I'm interested." He could've just said that. But they haven't seen each other in so long that it feels so important to make sure his real feelings get across. ]
I guess... I can do whatever's easiest for you. It's just a matter of how far you're okay with it going, given... Well, everything. I'm alright with whatever you're comfortable with.
[ It's a little strange hearing himself talk like this. Maybe it's a sign of how much he's changed that he can acknowledge things will be complicated, not necessarily ideal, hard to keep up with, and still be able to just deal with it instead of being scared or have it be a deal-breaker. They just can't have perfect—not in a war. So practical has to come first. A year ago that would have meant he wouldn't even bother. Now? He's content to take whatever he can get. ]