Oh, I know that. But this this coalition has a lot of little subgroups in it that are used to operating in totally different ways. If we try to force too much, it might get a little messy to maneuver. ... But I guess you already knew that, sorry.
[ it suddenly dawns on him that he's talking to Shiro, who is basically at the head of operations for a reason, and that reason is because he does a really good job at it. He doesn't need to be told how to do his job. ]
You guess?
[ he should know better than to take the bait, but he does, and he's a little vindicated. But Shiro kisses him before he can say anything else, and all he can do is return it with just as much intent. He wonders briefly if Shiro really means this or if he's just posturing because of what he said. Then he realizes he doesn't actually care either way. His hands move to the waistband of Shiro's sweatpants, stroking his hips a little before sliding up his shirt. He half caresses the skin of his back, half tries to pull him a little closer so he can kiss him a little deeper, feel a little more of his warmth against him.
God. Shiro joked about what he'd do, but it looks like he was right. Matt's already starting to get a little overwhelmed. He guesses that's what happens when you haven't really touched anyone for so long. ]
[ It makes sense; there's a delicate balance to hold when they have this many moving parts to deal with. The last thing they want to do is upset things where they're already working. The best bet is to figure out how to integrate all the different working parts without disrupting things too much, but that's something that'll take more than a little night time musing to figure out.
Besides: he'd be an idiot to ignore the fact that he's got Matt pressed up against him and the blankets are warm around them. He goes easily where he's tugged or pulled, always careful to keep the majority of his weight braced on his own arm or arms if the position allows. When he slides a thigh up between Matt's own, he uses that to brace himself and adjust, giving him the room to slide his own hand up the front of Matt's shirt (or, Shiro's shirt that Matt wore). The thought of it still sent a little thrill through him; when he finally breaks away to catch his breath, he grins down at Matt, licking over his lips. ]
As much fun as this is, I don't -- you're really distracting.
[ It's a compliment, both in meaning and in the earnest way Shiro dips down and kisses him again like he can't help himself. He's hyper aware of the hands on his back, and the gold of Matt's eyes this close. ]
I just wanted to know what you want.
[ It's a sort of lame finish when his thigh is just shy of being pressed against Matt's dick and he's got a hand up the front of his shirt, but still. ]
[ Distracting is one way of putting it. It's almost not fair. The feel of Shiro's skin under his hands and his lips pressed against his own are enough; Shiro's hand on stomach, the hotness of his breath, his thigh so close yet not quite close enough are exhilarating. Should he really be this excited or is he just pathetic and desperate?
... Okay, probably pathetic and desperate. Which is probably why he laughs and his face feels a little warm when Shiro asks him what he wants. Truthfully, he hadn't exactly thought that part through. Or maybe it's hard to admit point blank because it's weird talking about. But his smile, at least, is confident. ]
Honestly? To push you over, pull your shirt off, and keep kissing you. I... haven't really thought much further than that.
[ Attraction is short-sighted, or something like that. Actually, Matt's just a little impressed with himself that he could even say that with a straight face. But then he hesitates. ]
Is this too much? I don't think I even know what normal boundaries are like anymore, Shiro.
[ It's the nature of the beast—being out in space for so long just does things to people. Wars do things people. Periods of isolation do things to people. Trying to remember what social expectations were like back on the peace of Earth is almost impossible. ]
shakes fist at work. ALSO U COWARDS, DREAMWORKS, GIVE US SCARRED SHIRO
[ It's laughably easy to get Shiro to cooperate with whatever Matt wants right now, really. He hasn't considered where he wants things to go either; he'd known that when he suggested Matt spend the night that there was a chance they wouldn't watch a single movie. As far as he was concerned, the options were, sleeping, actually watching movies and maybe cuddling, and this though he'd worried about suggesting anything close to the latter.
Normally, this sort of thing came with some conversation beforehand. Normally didn't really apply when they'd been kidnapped by aliens, though. ]
It's not too much. Just, you know. Not exactly pretty, so.
[ He's not ashamed of it, but it'd taken ages for him to wear the tshirt instead of the long-sleeves that he'd sported for the longest time. ]
[ It takes Matt about half a second longer than it should to realize what Shiro's talking about, but when he does, his expression softens. Not pity, but understanding; he knows a little well what it can be like out there. ]
Come on, Shiro. You know I don't care about that. And if it makes you feel any better, I've got a few extra marks too.
[ He has a feeling they don't really compare to what Shiro's been through; he might not know the details, but he's not stupid. He knows enough about what the Galra are like to hazard some guesses, and that's not a conversation he would ever force Shiro to have. But he also doesn't shy away from action anymore, so he's been in some pretty nasty scrapes himself.
Which gives him a thought. He can joke about pushing Shiro down and stripping him, but ultimately when he moves away, it's to pull off his own shirt instead, so Shiro can see how much he's changed. How he's packed on more muscle, picked up more scars. Maybe its presumptuous to compare, because his differences are... different, but definitely not extreme. But, if he's lucky, it'll help keep them on even ground. It feels strangely exposing, considering he's grown used to wearing long sleeves and a cloak on a near-constant basis, but that doesn't really matter right now. ]
i know they can't 'cause it's a kids show but cmon
[ Well, he didn't for sure, but he suspected. Having confirmation is nice. Shiro gives him a slightly lopsided little smile and after another beat of hesitation, goes to his knees. He hooks his fingers under the shirt and rather than tossing it, neatly folds it; old habits die hard.
Then: Matt's bare too, and Shiro's utterly distracted by the long, pale line of him against the dark gray of his sheets. He's filled out more, lean muscle underneath the cloth of Shiro's shirt. It's good - Matt was always attractive to him, glasses and short, messy hair, but now, he's -- ]
Wow.
[ It's soft and a little breathlessly appreciative; Shiro reaches a hand out, skims it up from where his hip dips down and trails further until a thumb brushes over one of his nipples on the way up. He dips down to press his lips to the nearest scar, lingering and then rocks back, rolling his shoulders a little anxiously. It's not as bad as it could have been; some aliens weren't given a healing chamber to tend their wounds. Shiro was, for some of the worse fights. They couldn't have their Champion dead of infection. There's still the handprint from where he'd escaped again and had to cauterize it himself, still pink. There's various scars that are clearly from stab or claw marks, and a set of scars along his belly like something tried to take a bite out of his right side. ]
not even one under the short sleeve though /shakes fist
[ As much as Matt like to joke about how attractive he is, if someone had told him he'd elicit that kind of response a year ago, he probably wouldn't have believed them. He'd always been fairly lean in an average sort of way, and where he is now is result of a lot of hard work. He knows that and he's proud of that—but prouder still that he can get that kind of response out of Shiro of all people. Man, does that feel good. What's better is the thrill of realizing they're both half naked, and the feel of Shiro's hand sliding up him, and he has to repress a shudder. When Shiro leans in to kiss his torso, Matt moves his hands up, letting his fingers run through Shiro's hair. One falls to wayside as he draws away, the other Matt lets be pulled back with him, lightly brushing his temple with his thumb as he can finally take in the sights.
The scars, though he he expected them, hurt a little to see, and he wonders about some of the stories about them, but he knows the general gist of them—the Galra—and he knows better than anyone that's not something you just bring up casually. Maybe they can tell those stories someday, but right now, he just wants to focus on how angular Shiro's chest is. Tight, a solid mass of muscle. Wow doesn't even cover it; he's almost breathless at how gorgeous he is. He's always known, but it's different when they're so close like this, when the contact is so much more personal. ]
I'm honestly a little intimidated. You're—man.
[ He starts to move in to press down on Shiro, trying to maneuver his own weight against him because he knows he's not quite strong enough to overpower him with just brute strength, but he hesitates part of the way in. He has next to no experience in this, and it's... Yeah, it definitely makes him a little nervous. ]
Hey... Are we really doing this? [ There's still some time for them to pull back and cool off. It won't be easy but it's not too late yet. ] I know what I said earlier, but I don't want you to think the only reason I'm here is... for this.
[ Not that he minds it by any stretch, but Shiro is what's important here, not the rest. ]
i had a half-written tag and my computer restarted i'm gonna SCREAM
[ He's never thought of Matt as unattractive; even back in the Garrison, there'd been interest despite it being pushed to the wayside to get his job done. Now, though, it's like he can actually look and appreciate, and he notices all the little things that he had shoved to the back of his mind originally. Now, he can drink in the sight of him stretched out in his bed, and his hands and lips are just as appreciative as the look he's giving Matt.
You're-- man, he hears, and smiles against the dip of Matt's collarbone, pressing a lingering kiss there and then withdraws when he's nudged, not quite sure where Matt wants him or where he should be.
They're both a little hesitant about this, he thinks, listening to what Matt's saying but having to actively focus on it to give a response that isn't just more kissing and grinding against each other like teenagers. It's a valid question; he hadn't really intended on going far when he'd invited Matt in, and if he's being honest, he's not sure it's the best idea right now until they determine how things are going to go in the future.
Slowly, he eases back, settling off to the side and strokes his fingers up Matt's belly, splaying his hand over his chest. ]
I don't think we should— do everything, tonight. If we do that, I want time to actually learn what you like and have the time to do it.
[ Of course Shiro'd talk about learning how to get Matt off like it's something to be studied and perfected. ]
And we need to sleep, eventually, or we're never going to hear the end of it.
[ He mulls over the options a moment, fingers dragging lazy circles over Matt's chest, considering. ]
We could do the cold shower trick, which is miserable but would work, or if you want— we could take care of this the simplest way and then get some rest. It's up to you.
ugghhh the worst and also someone stop these morons lmao fuck
[ He can't help but laugh slightly—he can't decide if that's the most or least romantic thing anyone's ever told him. He wants to lean on the former just because it's Shiro, and yet... ]
I understand that, I do, but think about where we are. We might not get that time unless we really plan for it, and I don't know if I can do that, Shiro. Pulling out our schedules and going, "Well, this seems like a convenient time to get to know each other—" that's too much. You said it yourself earlier: this isn't a battle plan.
[ That... doesn't necessarily mean they have to be doing this right here, right now, though. Shiro does have a point otherwise; they may be getting too far ahead of themselves, and probably about the last thing he could handle right now is everything blowing up because he wanted too much, too fast. Because the thing is, Shiro's one of the best friends he's ever had, and that has to come foremost. So... breathe. Slow down. He can do that. Probably. ]
[ Then Shiro mentions how to cool off, and it's really not helpful, at all, because now he's picturing him taking care of himself, and—ugh. He's totally out of control. Apparently being out in space without any real stimulation reverts you back into a teenager that's just discovered porn for the first time. Was he ever actually this bad, or is he just that attracted to Shiro? Probably a little of all the above. ]
A cold shower is probably a little much, but I almost wouldn't mind a regular one.
[ Mostly so he can get rid of his problem on his own with a little more privacy, then come back and be able to act like a reasonable human being again. Hopefully. ]
LMFAO HONESTLY LIKE the most hopeless fuckin nerdlords
[ He pauses, chewing the inside of his cheek for a moment as he considers what he wants to add on to that, if anything. They don't have the gift of time, not really. Eventually, Matt's going to have to leave with the rest of the Rebellion. It'll probably be like their alliance with the Blade: most of their interactions kept to vidconferences, or intermittent missions together. Not exactly the strongest basis for a relationship, but still better than thinking the other is dead or locked away.
The real thing is he's not used to being so...hesitant regarding this and isn't sure at what point hesitance becomes ridiculous inability to act.
Shifting on the bed, he grimaces a little when his erection brushes up against Matt's thigh; it feels good, just the barest brush after months of no contact. At this point, a stiff breeze would probably do him in. Gingerly, he scoots his hips back just a touch more, giving Matt a slightly sheepish look. ]
I can wait if you want to claim first shower.
[ Unless that was a suggestion for them both to be in the shower and take care of this, but he's relatively certain it wasn't? Probably? Probably. ]
[ Whatever he was going to say instantly evaporates at the pressure on his leg. It takes enough self-restraint not to grind into it without that look on Shiro's face. It speaks volumes about how far gone they are, and it's somehow really attractive seeing him enjoy even that small bit of contact. God, this isn't fair. He's a hard a rock and he doesn't quite want to move, but he also feels like if they did do anything, it'd be over for him in literal seconds. Which... not exactly something he wants to show off. ]
... Are we sure you're not secretly a sadist trying to get me to beg for it?
[ It's supposed to be sarcastic, but the laugh that follows is weak at best. He means to pull himself up, but ends up sighing and slumping back into the bed. ]
Help me up? The intent's there, but the motivation isn't.
[ He offers a hand so that Shiro can use it as leverage. ]
is it awful part of me wants them to have to deal with an attack or something flksmfs.
[ It's not panicked but it is a little breathless and paired with a grimace at himself. The beds here aren't exactly the biggest so while the two of them can fit without needing to have every inch pressed against each other, it's not like there's a ton of extra room. That's what he keeps telling himself, watching Matt shift on the bed like he's trying to get up only to sink back down into it. ]
...I mean, do you want me to?
[ One corner of his lips tugs up; he's mostly joking, but there's a part of him curious just what kind of things Matt's into here outside of making out in bed at three in the morning.
Gingerly, though, he rises up and grasps Matt's forearm to tug him up, sliding out of the bed and planting his feet to do it. There's a part of him tempted to be a brat and heft Matt up and carry him to the bathroom, but he holds off, for now. ]
LMAOOOO Matt out in the field like, well I guess I'm dual wielding staves tonight :||||
I really don't think I have the endurance for that right now. Unless you're into watching me make a mess of myself without any of the gratification for yourself, in which case, go for it. I can totally make that happen for you.
[ All of which is stated very matter-of-factly, because at this point, he's flustered enough that this is the only way he knows how to deal with it. One day, his mouth will probably be his downfall.
Getting up takes more effort than it probably should, and once he does, he hesitates. ]
Hey, uh. Sorry if I made things weird.
[ Because leaving it be wasn't awkward enough, clearly. He has to go and poke at things instead of leaving well enough alone. ]
[ Cool, cool cool cool, he's right back to being flustered all over again and then Matt's joking suggestion actually sinks in and his stomach goes tight with the reminder that yeah, he's still hard, and yeah, actually, he'd kind of be into that. While he'd been talking in a general sense - what sort of things Matt was into when they had more time, well. That's good to know.
He turns away from Matt just enough to adjust himself, so the swell of his cock isn't so obvious but they're both not wearing a ton of clothing right now so there's only so much that he can do to hide the obvious physical reaction here. ]
You didn't. Make things weird, I mean. We're both trying to figure out how this works; I just...I don't want to go too fast or do something that's too much right away.
[ Gently, he slides his hand down from Matt's forearm to his hand and uses that to fish Matt in closer, pressing a lingering kiss to his palm. ]
somebody rescue Sam because they need adult supervision ASAP
[ Yeah. Just kill him now. Although in fairness, he guesses it is really hard to think clearly when they're both half naked and riled up and he has to very carefully keep his eyes on Shiro's face even though he's really curious.
Okay. No more sexual overtures, joking or otherwise. This is getting ridiculous. ]
... I know. You're right. If we try to do too much at once it'll just blow up and not give us very much to look forward to, and you're too important to me for that. I won't... do anything we're not both totally comfortable with.
[ He exhales as Shiro kisses his hand, feeling it unlock some of his tension. It's gentle and not charged like the rest of the night has been going, which is... surprisingly relieving. Maybe he'd been more hesitant than he'd actually thought. He moves in just slightly closer, brushing aside Shiro's forelock so he can brush his lips on his forehead. ]
Let's... take turns showering, and then we can sleep and maybe cuddle like normal, well-adjusted people.
[ Whatever that means. Normal is not exactly his specialty. ]
they find sam and pidge is like YOU MISSED SO MUCH XYZ also matt/shiro! sam: fuckin FINALLY
[ This is good, right? They're both being responsible and that...should be a good thing for both of them. He should be relieved because he knows that they'll be able to do something -- anything they want later. Right now, they can pump the breaks and that's a good thing.
His cock doesn't agree, but it doesn't get to make any decisions here. Shiro ducks down for the kiss and then nudges Matt toward the bathroom, already going to grab extra towels and the clothing they'd discarded in their earlier haste. It's bundled and pressed into Matt's arms with a wry little smile. ]
Go, go. Normal, well-adjusted person cuddling once we're both done.
turns out the whole family had a pool for when they'd finally hook up
[ The door gets shut—the Garrison has erased any possible need for privacy, and being with the rebels has reinforced that, but that doesn't apply to nursing giant erections. He still has a little decency left. He lets the water run hot, and tries to keep it quick so he doesn't leave Shiro waiting. He steps out of the bathroom in his boxers and the shirt he'd borrowed, towel draped around his shoulders so he doesn't end up soaked again underneath his long hair, and slumps onto the bed, feeling strangely warm and content, considering. ]
[ It's tempting to reach a hand down between his thighs and relieve the problem while Matt's gone, but then he has to deal with cleaning up and if he's being honest, it's more efficient in the shower. Of course, then he starts considering Matt doing this in the shower -- in his shower and then the mental images are far more unhelpful than anything else so he picks the tablet up again and forces himself to stare at flight plans and troop movements until Matt comes out.
The way he doesn't even hesitate - just redresses and slides into the bed like he belongs there does funny things to Shiro's heart and he nods jerkily in response. ]
Yeah. Got it.
[ It takes a laughably tiny amount of time to jerk off and he lets himself stand under the spray a few more minutes until his skin is pink and he's washed up. He redresses, still slightly damp and towels his hair off as best as he can before exiting with a rush of steam. Gently, he makes his way back into bed where it's warm with bodyheat and sidles up next to Matt, sliding an arm around his waist after a split-second of wondering if he can actually do that. ]
Hey.
this is terrible but I'm half picturing this ongoing saga where they just never quite get laid
[ As Shiro showers, Matt makes himself at home in his bed and lets himself drift a little, lost in thought but not focusing on anything in particular. As appealing as the image of Shiro taking care of himself in the shower after him is, it's not quite as alluring when he's already taken matters into his own hands. The tension is just gone. Part of him is relieved, part of him is a little mortified that the evening ended the way it did, but... Oh well? Nothing they can do about it now.
That's about where he's at when Shiro returns, and he looks up with a smile. ]
Hey.
[ He shifts slightly to his side, letting his head rest on Shiro's shoulder and draping his arm over his torso. Probably not something that should be making his heart beat as fast as it is, but then, this is something he's thought about for a long time, and now that it's finally happening? A little nerve-wracking. ]
I kinda wish we had more time to get to know each other again, you know?
[ Or at least stay like this a little long before falling asleep. But as weird as his hours can be, even Matt's starting to feel a little heavy. It'll be a wonder if he can keep his eyes open much longer. ]
that and awkward boning w mishaps are like two of my favorite things to rp tbh
[ The shower was the right idea, outside of taking care of certain needs. Showers and baths are one of his favorite things after the arena, and after any sort of missions they have where hot water isn't readily available. The novelty of having them any time he wants hasn't worn off yet and it's not like the Garrison where there may be a lack of hot water depending on time of day, or your roommate, if you had one.
Besides, when he nuzzles into Matt's damp hair and yawns, he smells his own shampoo and that weird part of him is pleased once more; Matt's safe, he's taken care of, he's in Shiro's bed and smells like his shampoo. It's a lot to take in. ]
You and me both. Feels like eventually things have to stop being as on fire, right?
Do you mean everything, or just us as people? I'm not sure which one is less likely.
[ He laughs slightly, because that's the easiest way to deal with everything. They'll have this, maybe the morning, but then they both have to get back to their real jobs, and who knows what will happen from there. In the end, it'll probably rest solely on how much they want it work, how much they're willing to compromise.
Right now, though, is more than he could have asked for. One of his closest friends is here with him—alive, not dead in the arena—and he's drifting to sleep in his arms. It's... nice. More than nice. And surprisingly easy to feel secure in. There's some reacquainting they need to do, definitely, but in the end, he's known Shiro for a long time, so it's easy to settle back in. It's the warmth of someone he's close to, not some near stranger he's trying to get to know for the first time, and that makes all the difference in the world. ]
I'm really glad you're here.
[ He's half-asleep as he says it, too tired to be a smartass like he normally would. ]
A little of column A, a little of column B, I suppose.
[ He slips one hand underneath the back of Matt's shirt and splays it out over the warm line of his back, tracing the gentle dip, running fingers over the knobs of his spine in gentle, lazy circles. Any scars he encounters don't get any attention; he skims over them, unfazed. ]
Me too.
[ It's murmured into Matt's hair as he finally lets himself settle down enough to relax, letting his eyes close. While he'd been lucky enough not to have to share a room in the Garrison every year, there's something undeniably nicer about having someone else in the room with him, having another body to curl up against. For once, he sleeps all the way through to his alarm and when it sounds, he manages to get it at the first beep, thunking his hand against it solidly to turn it off.
Generally, when he wakes, he's up and out and there ten minutes early just in case. This time, he notes the time and how much of a buffer they have and then neatly folds himself up in and against Matt, spooning him with a sleepy yawn pressed into the nape of his neck, letting himself doze for a few extra minutes. ]
[ For Matt, it's a deep, dreamless sleep, the kind where all the exhaustion he's been avoiding catches up all at once, and it's almost a wonder the sound of the alarm even reaches him, brief as it was. He squeezes his eyes a little tighter, trying to resist the urge to open them, wanting to pretend he's still asleep for a little. Which is easy enough. His eyes are ridiculously heavy, and the shared warmth is so comfortable and relaxing he's not actually sure he could get up if he wanted to. But it's probably obvious that he's awake by the way he shifts when Shiro's breath hits his skin, and exhales, soft and content. ]
Maybe if we just stay here they won't actually miss us.
[ ... Well, that was stupid. The sound of his own voice wakes him up more than the alarm did, even though all he really wants is to fall back asleep like this. ]
UGHGHGHGH SORRY EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SO BUSY HOLIDAYS WHY
[ Between the military and the arena, he's learned how to go back to sleep when he needs to, but right now, he doesn't need to go back to sleep so much as he needs to make sure he doesn't. Besides, he's awake enough, he figures, despite how comfortable he is right now, and how Matt's weight in the bed is its own distraction. He can hear the way Matt's breathing changes, awake as well, so between the two of them, they ought to be able to get up without the danger of falling asleep without an alarm - he hopes. ]
Or they'll all come in here to figure out where we are.
[ Is this what parents on Christmas Eve feel like?
Shiro manages to slit his eyes open just a little and stares blankly at the ceiling a moment before giving up and closing them once more, yawning hugely. ]
I can buy you some time if you want to get some extra hours in. I know we didn't sleep much.
[ Now there's a mental image he can't help but laugh at—everyone bursting in on them sharing a bed. Him still in Shiro's shirt, hair disheveled from going to bed while it was still damp. There's no way they'd ever be able to play it off as anything platonic in their current position, either. ]
That'd go over well, huh? I guess if we're going to play 20 questions about our love life, I'd at least rather have clothes on.
[ That... felt weird to say. Should it be this hard to wrap his head around the idea that all this is actually happening? Maybe he's so tired nothing is processing the way it should. He ends up suppressing a yawn of his own. ]
I've gotten through worse. I just—you forget what a real bed feels like, sometimes. If I got anymore relaxed, you'd probably have to physically carry me out.
[ Which at this point, he wouldn't be entirely opposed to, really. Even with the commotion it'd probably cause. Or maybe because of the commotion it'd cause? ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ it suddenly dawns on him that he's talking to Shiro, who is basically at the head of operations for a reason, and that reason is because he does a really good job at it. He doesn't need to be told how to do his job. ]
You guess?
[ he should know better than to take the bait, but he does, and he's a little vindicated. But Shiro kisses him before he can say anything else, and all he can do is return it with just as much intent. He wonders briefly if Shiro really means this or if he's just posturing because of what he said. Then he realizes he doesn't actually care either way. His hands move to the waistband of Shiro's sweatpants, stroking his hips a little before sliding up his shirt. He half caresses the skin of his back, half tries to pull him a little closer so he can kiss him a little deeper, feel a little more of his warmth against him.
God. Shiro joked about what he'd do, but it looks like he was right. Matt's already starting to get a little overwhelmed. He guesses that's what happens when you haven't really touched anyone for so long. ]
rip sorry i got obscenely busy
Besides: he'd be an idiot to ignore the fact that he's got Matt pressed up against him and the blankets are warm around them. He goes easily where he's tugged or pulled, always careful to keep the majority of his weight braced on his own arm or arms if the position allows. When he slides a thigh up between Matt's own, he uses that to brace himself and adjust, giving him the room to slide his own hand up the front of Matt's shirt (or, Shiro's shirt that Matt wore). The thought of it still sent a little thrill through him; when he finally breaks away to catch his breath, he grins down at Matt, licking over his lips. ]
As much fun as this is, I don't -- you're really distracting.
[ It's a compliment, both in meaning and in the earnest way Shiro dips down and kisses him again like he can't help himself. He's hyper aware of the hands on his back, and the gold of Matt's eyes this close. ]
I just wanted to know what you want.
[ It's a sort of lame finish when his thigh is just shy of being pressed against Matt's dick and he's got a hand up the front of his shirt, but still. ]
no worries man
... Okay, probably pathetic and desperate. Which is probably why he laughs and his face feels a little warm when Shiro asks him what he wants. Truthfully, he hadn't exactly thought that part through. Or maybe it's hard to admit point blank because it's weird talking about. But his smile, at least, is confident. ]
Honestly? To push you over, pull your shirt off, and keep kissing you. I... haven't really thought much further than that.
[ Attraction is short-sighted, or something like that. Actually, Matt's just a little impressed with himself that he could even say that with a straight face. But then he hesitates. ]
Is this too much? I don't think I even know what normal boundaries are like anymore, Shiro.
[ It's the nature of the beast—being out in space for so long just does things to people. Wars do things people. Periods of isolation do things to people. Trying to remember what social expectations were like back on the peace of Earth is almost impossible. ]
shakes fist at work. ALSO U COWARDS, DREAMWORKS, GIVE US SCARRED SHIRO
[ It's laughably easy to get Shiro to cooperate with whatever Matt wants right now, really. He hasn't considered where he wants things to go either; he'd known that when he suggested Matt spend the night that there was a chance they wouldn't watch a single movie. As far as he was concerned, the options were, sleeping, actually watching movies and maybe cuddling, and this though he'd worried about suggesting anything close to the latter.
Normally, this sort of thing came with some conversation beforehand. Normally didn't really apply when they'd been kidnapped by aliens, though. ]
It's not too much. Just, you know. Not exactly pretty, so.
[ He's not ashamed of it, but it'd taken ages for him to wear the tshirt instead of the long-sleeves that he'd sported for the longest time. ]
throws it in a dumpster and dreamworks too tbh
Come on, Shiro. You know I don't care about that. And if it makes you feel any better, I've got a few extra marks too.
[ He has a feeling they don't really compare to what Shiro's been through; he might not know the details, but he's not stupid. He knows enough about what the Galra are like to hazard some guesses, and that's not a conversation he would ever force Shiro to have. But he also doesn't shy away from action anymore, so he's been in some pretty nasty scrapes himself.
Which gives him a thought. He can joke about pushing Shiro down and stripping him, but ultimately when he moves away, it's to pull off his own shirt instead, so Shiro can see how much he's changed. How he's packed on more muscle, picked up more scars. Maybe its presumptuous to compare, because his differences are... different, but definitely not extreme. But, if he's lucky, it'll help keep them on even ground. It feels strangely exposing, considering he's grown used to wearing long sleeves and a cloak on a near-constant basis, but that doesn't really matter right now. ]
i know they can't 'cause it's a kids show but cmon
[ Well, he didn't for sure, but he suspected. Having confirmation is nice. Shiro gives him a slightly lopsided little smile and after another beat of hesitation, goes to his knees. He hooks his fingers under the shirt and rather than tossing it, neatly folds it; old habits die hard.
Then: Matt's bare too, and Shiro's utterly distracted by the long, pale line of him against the dark gray of his sheets. He's filled out more, lean muscle underneath the cloth of Shiro's shirt. It's good - Matt was always attractive to him, glasses and short, messy hair, but now, he's -- ]
Wow.
[ It's soft and a little breathlessly appreciative; Shiro reaches a hand out, skims it up from where his hip dips down and trails further until a thumb brushes over one of his nipples on the way up. He dips down to press his lips to the nearest scar, lingering and then rocks back, rolling his shoulders a little anxiously. It's not as bad as it could have been; some aliens weren't given a healing chamber to tend their wounds. Shiro was, for some of the worse fights. They couldn't have their Champion dead of infection. There's still the handprint from where he'd escaped again and had to cauterize it himself, still pink. There's various scars that are clearly from stab or claw marks, and a set of scars along his belly like something tried to take a bite out of his right side. ]
not even one under the short sleeve though /shakes fist
The scars, though he he expected them, hurt a little to see, and he wonders about some of the stories about them, but he knows the general gist of them—the Galra—and he knows better than anyone that's not something you just bring up casually. Maybe they can tell those stories someday, but right now, he just wants to focus on how angular Shiro's chest is. Tight, a solid mass of muscle. Wow doesn't even cover it; he's almost breathless at how gorgeous he is. He's always known, but it's different when they're so close like this, when the contact is so much more personal. ]
I'm honestly a little intimidated. You're—man.
[ He starts to move in to press down on Shiro, trying to maneuver his own weight against him because he knows he's not quite strong enough to overpower him with just brute strength, but he hesitates part of the way in. He has next to no experience in this, and it's... Yeah, it definitely makes him a little nervous. ]
Hey... Are we really doing this? [ There's still some time for them to pull back and cool off. It won't be easy but it's not too late yet. ] I know what I said earlier, but I don't want you to think the only reason I'm here is... for this.
[ Not that he minds it by any stretch, but Shiro is what's important here, not the rest. ]
i had a half-written tag and my computer restarted i'm gonna SCREAM
You're-- man, he hears, and smiles against the dip of Matt's collarbone, pressing a lingering kiss there and then withdraws when he's nudged, not quite sure where Matt wants him or where he should be.
They're both a little hesitant about this, he thinks, listening to what Matt's saying but having to actively focus on it to give a response that isn't just more kissing and grinding against each other like teenagers. It's a valid question; he hadn't really intended on going far when he'd invited Matt in, and if he's being honest, he's not sure it's the best idea right now until they determine how things are going to go in the future.
Slowly, he eases back, settling off to the side and strokes his fingers up Matt's belly, splaying his hand over his chest. ]
I don't think we should— do everything, tonight. If we do that, I want time to actually learn what you like and have the time to do it.
[ Of course Shiro'd talk about learning how to get Matt off like it's something to be studied and perfected. ]
And we need to sleep, eventually, or we're never going to hear the end of it.
[ He mulls over the options a moment, fingers dragging lazy circles over Matt's chest, considering. ]
We could do the cold shower trick, which is miserable but would work, or if you want— we could take care of this the simplest way and then get some rest. It's up to you.
ugghhh the worst and also someone stop these morons lmao fuck
I understand that, I do, but think about where we are. We might not get that time unless we really plan for it, and I don't know if I can do that, Shiro. Pulling out our schedules and going, "Well, this seems like a convenient time to get to know each other—" that's too much. You said it yourself earlier: this isn't a battle plan.
[ That... doesn't necessarily mean they have to be doing this right here, right now, though. Shiro does have a point otherwise; they may be getting too far ahead of themselves, and probably about the last thing he could handle right now is everything blowing up because he wanted too much, too fast. Because the thing is, Shiro's one of the best friends he's ever had, and that has to come foremost. So... breathe. Slow down. He can do that. Probably. ]
[ Then Shiro mentions how to cool off, and it's really not helpful, at all, because now he's picturing him taking care of himself, and—ugh. He's totally out of control. Apparently being out in space without any real stimulation reverts you back into a teenager that's just discovered porn for the first time. Was he ever actually this bad, or is he just that attracted to Shiro? Probably a little of all the above. ]
A cold shower is probably a little much, but I almost wouldn't mind a regular one.
[ Mostly so he can get rid of his problem on his own with a little more privacy, then come back and be able to act like a reasonable human being again. Hopefully. ]
LMFAO HONESTLY LIKE the most hopeless fuckin nerdlords
[ He pauses, chewing the inside of his cheek for a moment as he considers what he wants to add on to that, if anything. They don't have the gift of time, not really. Eventually, Matt's going to have to leave with the rest of the Rebellion. It'll probably be like their alliance with the Blade: most of their interactions kept to vidconferences, or intermittent missions together. Not exactly the strongest basis for a relationship, but still better than thinking the other is dead or locked away.
The real thing is he's not used to being so...hesitant regarding this and isn't sure at what point hesitance becomes ridiculous inability to act.
Shifting on the bed, he grimaces a little when his erection brushes up against Matt's thigh; it feels good, just the barest brush after months of no contact. At this point, a stiff breeze would probably do him in. Gingerly, he scoots his hips back just a touch more, giving Matt a slightly sheepish look. ]
I can wait if you want to claim first shower.
[ Unless that was a suggestion for them both to be in the shower and take care of this, but he's relatively certain it wasn't? Probably? Probably. ]
hopeless nerdlord cowards
[ Whatever he was going to say instantly evaporates at the pressure on his leg. It takes enough self-restraint not to grind into it without that look on Shiro's face. It speaks volumes about how far gone they are, and it's somehow really attractive seeing him enjoy even that small bit of contact. God, this isn't fair. He's a hard a rock and he doesn't quite want to move, but he also feels like if they did do anything, it'd be over for him in literal seconds. Which... not exactly something he wants to show off. ]
... Are we sure you're not secretly a sadist trying to get me to beg for it?
[ It's supposed to be sarcastic, but the laugh that follows is weak at best. He means to pull himself up, but ends up sighing and slumping back into the bed. ]
Help me up? The intent's there, but the motivation isn't.
[ He offers a hand so that Shiro can use it as leverage. ]
is it awful part of me wants them to have to deal with an attack or something flksmfs.
[ It's not panicked but it is a little breathless and paired with a grimace at himself. The beds here aren't exactly the biggest so while the two of them can fit without needing to have every inch pressed against each other, it's not like there's a ton of extra room. That's what he keeps telling himself, watching Matt shift on the bed like he's trying to get up only to sink back down into it. ]
...I mean, do you want me to?
[ One corner of his lips tugs up; he's mostly joking, but there's a part of him curious just what kind of things Matt's into here outside of making out in bed at three in the morning.
Gingerly, though, he rises up and grasps Matt's forearm to tug him up, sliding out of the bed and planting his feet to do it. There's a part of him tempted to be a brat and heft Matt up and carry him to the bathroom, but he holds off, for now. ]
LMAOOOO Matt out in the field like, well I guess I'm dual wielding staves tonight :||||
[ Okay, that catches him off-guard a little. ]
I really don't think I have the endurance for that right now. Unless you're into watching me make a mess of myself without any of the gratification for yourself, in which case, go for it. I can totally make that happen for you.
[ All of which is stated very matter-of-factly, because at this point, he's flustered enough that this is the only way he knows how to deal with it. One day, his mouth will probably be his downfall.
Getting up takes more effort than it probably should, and once he does, he hesitates. ]
Hey, uh. Sorry if I made things weird.
[ Because leaving it be wasn't awkward enough, clearly. He has to go and poke at things instead of leaving well enough alone. ]
LMFASKMSGSMFM BAD
[ Cool, cool cool cool, he's right back to being flustered all over again and then Matt's joking suggestion actually sinks in and his stomach goes tight with the reminder that yeah, he's still hard, and yeah, actually, he'd kind of be into that. While he'd been talking in a general sense - what sort of things Matt was into when they had more time, well. That's good to know.
He turns away from Matt just enough to adjust himself, so the swell of his cock isn't so obvious but they're both not wearing a ton of clothing right now so there's only so much that he can do to hide the obvious physical reaction here. ]
You didn't. Make things weird, I mean. We're both trying to figure out how this works; I just...I don't want to go too fast or do something that's too much right away.
[ Gently, he slides his hand down from Matt's forearm to his hand and uses that to fish Matt in closer, pressing a lingering kiss to his palm. ]
somebody rescue Sam because they need adult supervision ASAP
[ Yeah. Just kill him now. Although in fairness, he guesses it is really hard to think clearly when they're both half naked and riled up and he has to very carefully keep his eyes on Shiro's face even though he's really curious.
Okay. No more sexual overtures, joking or otherwise. This is getting ridiculous. ]
... I know. You're right. If we try to do too much at once it'll just blow up and not give us very much to look forward to, and you're too important to me for that. I won't... do anything we're not both totally comfortable with.
[ He exhales as Shiro kisses his hand, feeling it unlock some of his tension. It's gentle and not charged like the rest of the night has been going, which is... surprisingly relieving. Maybe he'd been more hesitant than he'd actually thought. He moves in just slightly closer, brushing aside Shiro's forelock so he can brush his lips on his forehead. ]
Let's... take turns showering, and then we can sleep and maybe cuddle like normal, well-adjusted people.
[ Whatever that means. Normal is not exactly his specialty. ]
they find sam and pidge is like YOU MISSED SO MUCH XYZ also matt/shiro! sam: fuckin FINALLY
His cock doesn't agree, but it doesn't get to make any decisions here. Shiro ducks down for the kiss and then nudges Matt toward the bathroom, already going to grab extra towels and the clothing they'd discarded in their earlier haste. It's bundled and pressed into Matt's arms with a wry little smile. ]
Go, go. Normal, well-adjusted person cuddling once we're both done.
turns out the whole family had a pool for when they'd finally hook up
[ The door gets shut—the Garrison has erased any possible need for privacy, and being with the rebels has reinforced that, but that doesn't apply to nursing giant erections. He still has a little decency left. He lets the water run hot, and tries to keep it quick so he doesn't leave Shiro waiting. He steps out of the bathroom in his boxers and the shirt he'd borrowed, towel draped around his shoulders so he doesn't end up soaked again underneath his long hair, and slumps onto the bed, feeling strangely warm and content, considering. ]
All yours. See you in a minute?
shiro's just like [MAXIMUM THIS ICON FACE]
The way he doesn't even hesitate - just redresses and slides into the bed like he belongs there does funny things to Shiro's heart and he nods jerkily in response. ]
Yeah. Got it.
[ It takes a laughably tiny amount of time to jerk off and he lets himself stand under the spray a few more minutes until his skin is pink and he's washed up. He redresses, still slightly damp and towels his hair off as best as he can before exiting with a rush of steam. Gently, he makes his way back into bed where it's warm with bodyheat and sidles up next to Matt, sliding an arm around his waist after a split-second of wondering if he can actually do that. ]
Hey.
this is terrible but I'm half picturing this ongoing saga where they just never quite get laid
That's about where he's at when Shiro returns, and he looks up with a smile. ]
Hey.
[ He shifts slightly to his side, letting his head rest on Shiro's shoulder and draping his arm over his torso. Probably not something that should be making his heart beat as fast as it is, but then, this is something he's thought about for a long time, and now that it's finally happening? A little nerve-wracking. ]
I kinda wish we had more time to get to know each other again, you know?
[ Or at least stay like this a little long before falling asleep. But as weird as his hours can be, even Matt's starting to feel a little heavy. It'll be a wonder if he can keep his eyes open much longer. ]
that and awkward boning w mishaps are like two of my favorite things to rp tbh
Besides, when he nuzzles into Matt's damp hair and yawns, he smells his own shampoo and that weird part of him is pleased once more; Matt's safe, he's taken care of, he's in Shiro's bed and smells like his shampoo. It's a lot to take in. ]
You and me both. Feels like eventually things have to stop being as on fire, right?
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[ He laughs slightly, because that's the easiest way to deal with everything. They'll have this, maybe the morning, but then they both have to get back to their real jobs, and who knows what will happen from there. In the end, it'll probably rest solely on how much they want it work, how much they're willing to compromise.
Right now, though, is more than he could have asked for. One of his closest friends is here with him—alive, not dead in the arena—and he's drifting to sleep in his arms. It's... nice. More than nice. And surprisingly easy to feel secure in. There's some reacquainting they need to do, definitely, but in the end, he's known Shiro for a long time, so it's easy to settle back in. It's the warmth of someone he's close to, not some near stranger he's trying to get to know for the first time, and that makes all the difference in the world. ]
I'm really glad you're here.
[ He's half-asleep as he says it, too tired to be a smartass like he normally would. ]
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[ He slips one hand underneath the back of Matt's shirt and splays it out over the warm line of his back, tracing the gentle dip, running fingers over the knobs of his spine in gentle, lazy circles. Any scars he encounters don't get any attention; he skims over them, unfazed. ]
Me too.
[ It's murmured into Matt's hair as he finally lets himself settle down enough to relax, letting his eyes close. While he'd been lucky enough not to have to share a room in the Garrison every year, there's something undeniably nicer about having someone else in the room with him, having another body to curl up against. For once, he sleeps all the way through to his alarm and when it sounds, he manages to get it at the first beep, thunking his hand against it solidly to turn it off.
Generally, when he wakes, he's up and out and there ten minutes early just in case. This time, he notes the time and how much of a buffer they have and then neatly folds himself up in and against Matt, spooning him with a sleepy yawn pressed into the nape of his neck, letting himself doze for a few extra minutes. ]
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Maybe if we just stay here they won't actually miss us.
[ ... Well, that was stupid. The sound of his own voice wakes him up more than the alarm did, even though all he really wants is to fall back asleep like this. ]
UGHGHGHGH SORRY EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SO BUSY HOLIDAYS WHY
Or they'll all come in here to figure out where we are.
[ Is this what parents on Christmas Eve feel like?
Shiro manages to slit his eyes open just a little and stares blankly at the ceiling a moment before giving up and closing them once more, yawning hugely. ]
I can buy you some time if you want to get some extra hours in. I know we didn't sleep much.
I know this feel sobs
That'd go over well, huh? I guess if we're going to play 20 questions about our love life, I'd at least rather have clothes on.
[ That... felt weird to say. Should it be this hard to wrap his head around the idea that all this is actually happening? Maybe he's so tired nothing is processing the way it should. He ends up suppressing a yawn of his own. ]
I've gotten through worse. I just—you forget what a real bed feels like, sometimes. If I got anymore relaxed, you'd probably have to physically carry me out.
[ Which at this point, he wouldn't be entirely opposed to, really. Even with the commotion it'd probably cause. Or maybe because of the commotion it'd cause? ]
that's what i get for 3 thanksgivings
that is a lot of thanksgiving omg
ten thousand apologies for belated response again etc
i've pretty much lost track of what position they're in so sorry if this makes no sense lmao
SAME TBH SO I'M SORRY HAHA
twister: extreme edition or something
rp twister, the game within the rp game
butt stuff(tm) not included. must be purchased separately.
buttstuff dlc, the dlc everyone wants
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