[Have the least subtle snort/snicker ever. Lance is terrible at playing along, but...he tries, okay.]
Eh, but now you have a cool spacesuit and a cool space robot and lots of cool space adventures and stuff. [A moment of hesitation:] You, uh...ever regret it?
[ Cool space suits and robots and adventures, sure. Mostly, he's just glad he's still alive so he can go after Pidge's family, so he can go after the Galra and stop them from doing this to anyone else. ]
[ oh MY GOD Lance how are you real. Shiro waits a beat and then grabs his feet, tugging his boots off because if he's going to get kicked in the face at least he won't have boots on. ]
How is that a dad thing?
[ ONE BOOT GONE, can he make it to the other--!! ]
It's the truth. What happened, happened. The only thing I can do now is try to fix it.
[JOKES ON YOU cause Lance has the stinkiest feet known to man, so he's going to wiggle his toes and let the stench fly free! Freedom!!!]
Cause, y'know. Dads say stuff that doesn't make much sense but it's supposed to teach you something? I guess? I mean, I didn't know my dad that well, but it's what I've heard.
[Have a cheeky grin.] Gonna give me a foot massage, Mr. "What happened, happened"?
[ Oh god why. Shiro can't lean back any further so he settles for a dubious look down Lance's leg and debates sitting on top of them again. Instead, he clasps his ankle with one hand and leans away, eyebrows raised incredulously.
Of course it leads to getting a foot in his mouth, because why wouldn't it. ]
Lance.
[ He snags a pillow and drops it heavily over Lance's legs, putting both arms over it. He gets to suffer having one boot on and one boot off, thanks. ]
[Lance squirms pathetically for a moment, then woefully wiggles around his still-booted foot, arms stretched out above his head, looking extremely offended and pathetic.]
My foot's all sweaty now. And the other one's all spitty.
[ OH my god you LITERAL CHILD. Shiro grabs the other boot and pulls it off, tossing it across the room. He looks rather pleased when it lands boot side down, wobbling briefly before standing upright. When he tosses the other discarded boot and it does the same, he's downright smug. ]
You probably shouldn't have jammed your toes in my mouth.
[Lance looks thoroughly contented now, offering his fist for Shiro to bump in triumph, as bros do.] Nice aim, man. You should try out for space basketball.
[Have a moment of indignant sputtering, before this eloquent comeback:] Well, you probably shouldn't have had your mouth near my toes.
[ For a second it doesn't register and then it does and he knocks their knuckles together, his arms resting back on the pillow he's using to subdue wayward feet. ]
[There we go, you aren't totally a hopeless dad, Shiro. You can do cool things. Also apparently Lance is unconcerned by the pillow, because it's squishy and comfy.]
Glad to see you taking responsibility. [Is that a yawn, yes, he's going to take a nap with his feet in your lap, Shiro, because he's Lance. That's why.]
[ His tone is so dry it's almost laughable but he's clearly amused judging by the edge of a smile tugging at his lips. ]
I thought you wanted lunch.
[ He's not opposed to Lance sleeping there for a while; he's been a human pillow for most of the team at one point or another and he's got work he can do on one of the touchpads. ]
[ It takes some stretching but he snags the blanket from his bed and drapes it over Lance carefully, handing the pillow over that was used to keep wayward feet from finding their way to his face. ]
[Lance burrows down into the blanket and pillow and mumbles something that may be "thanks mom" soooo you've got a promotion, Shiro! Have fun with Lance snoring softly right next to you.]
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[ Another squeeze to his boot, this time playful, not to stop him from squirming around like some sort of fish on land. ]
Somehow, yeah, that's not really where I saw my life going.
[ Despite everything, though, he wouldn't change it. ]
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[Have the least subtle snort/snicker ever. Lance is terrible at playing along, but...he tries, okay.]
Eh, but now you have a cool spacesuit and a cool space robot and lots of cool space adventures and stuff. [A moment of hesitation:] You, uh...ever regret it?
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[ Cool space suits and robots and adventures, sure. Mostly, he's just glad he's still alive so he can go after Pidge's family, so he can go after the Galra and stop them from doing this to anyone else. ]
Regret wouldn't change anything.
[ What a good non answer. ]
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That's such a non-answer, you're like a dad, you never give a straight answer, there's always a moral involved!!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT KEYBOARD SHORTCUT THAT WAS BUT :|
How is that a dad thing?
[ ONE BOOT GONE, can he make it to the other--!! ]
It's the truth. What happened, happened. The only thing I can do now is try to fix it.
IT WAS A DAD SHORTCUT.
Cause, y'know. Dads say stuff that doesn't make much sense but it's supposed to teach you something? I guess? I mean, I didn't know my dad that well, but it's what I've heard.
[Have a cheeky grin.] Gonna give me a foot massage, Mr. "What happened, happened"?
APPARENTLY
Sometimes, I guess? I don't know if that's specifically a dad thing.
[ He eyes those sock-clad toes dubiously. ]
Not likely. I'm just trying to avoid getting kicked in the head.
[ PAUSE ]
Again.
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[Lance scowls for a moment, then lifts up his socked foot and pokes at Shiro's cheek with his toes.]
Look at this precision and control, bro. Nobody's gettin' kicked with these bad boys. I'm too exact and careful and--
[This is Lance poking too aggressively and accidentally getting his foot in Shiro's mouth instead.] Whoops.
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[ Oh god why. Shiro can't lean back any further so he settles for a dubious look down Lance's leg and debates sitting on top of them again. Instead, he clasps his ankle with one hand and leans away, eyebrows raised incredulously.
Of course it leads to getting a foot in his mouth, because why wouldn't it. ]
Lance.
[ He snags a pillow and drops it heavily over Lance's legs, putting both arms over it. He gets to suffer having one boot on and one boot off, thanks. ]
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[Lance squirms pathetically for a moment, then woefully wiggles around his still-booted foot, arms stretched out above his head, looking extremely offended and pathetic.]
My foot's all sweaty now. And the other one's all spitty.
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I'll take it.
[ OH my god you LITERAL CHILD. Shiro grabs the other boot and pulls it off, tossing it across the room. He looks rather pleased when it lands boot side down, wobbling briefly before standing upright. When he tosses the other discarded boot and it does the same, he's downright smug. ]
You probably shouldn't have jammed your toes in my mouth.
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[Have a moment of indignant sputtering, before this eloquent comeback:] Well, you probably shouldn't have had your mouth near my toes.
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Ah, it's my fault.
[ Uh-huh. ]
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Glad to see you taking responsibility. [Is that a yawn, yes, he's going to take a nap with his feet in your lap, Shiro, because he's Lance. That's why.]
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[ His tone is so dry it's almost laughable but he's clearly amused judging by the edge of a smile tugging at his lips. ]
I thought you wanted lunch.
[ He's not opposed to Lance sleeping there for a while; he's been a human pillow for most of the team at one point or another and he's got work he can do on one of the touchpads. ]
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[Another yawn and some wiggling around to get comfy.] Unless it's a cheeseburger and strawberry shake, I can hold off for a bit, I think.
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I'll wake you up in an hour or two, then. I can ask Hunk to set aside some lunch.
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Yeah you better. Don't let Keith eat my share.
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Don't worry, he won't.
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